July 2011
kanadiankurt:
Fuck I love hearing your voice.
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I’m raging, far gone;
less of a person without
your sweet tempering.
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My dad just got a pregnancy tester for our female breeding pigs. He says he’s going to start doing bi-monthly pregnancy tests on me for kicks.
Does anyone know how to fake a pregnancy on one of them? I want to make him think my eggo is inhabited by a smallish squirrel-child so he’ll feed me better.
srs ansrs only plz no trolling ok guiz
?
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The sea breeze whispers
tiny phrases of condolence:
An expanse of skin.
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The pure pool below
Could compare not to your soul;
Shining in la nuit.
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You curse and lose clothes,
Attracting those who know well:
Rough edges mask brilliance.
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Lol my mom is so fucking insane.
This is her kicking ass in roller derby (Denver Roller Dolls, Bad Apples REPRESENT)
and this is her grabbing another woman’s boobs:
oh and this is a photo of me on her facebook from when I was thirteen. A caption for it once read “Future bartender like her mom???! Only five years till she’s old enough to join us at Andolini’s bar!!”
hi5 for parentage.
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Super fun story time!!
Yesterday at the resturaunt we played this game!! It involved three of the other staffers ambushing me with ice!! They all put it down the front and back of my shirt before I could react to stop them!! Then they laughed and pointed when my nipples got hard!! And I laughed because I have great nipples and I realized they were just jealous!! Then the Asian guy started staring...
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Hello. Yes, "hello" indeed.
portsidepunch:
Good day to you, worthy followers. My name is Leslie, and I am here on this worthy day in this worthy fellow’s account in order to attract a few pedophiles with my childlike innocence and Carebear apparel. Yes, indeed.
VIEW MY FACE IN HORRORRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!1111111!!!
Oh okay well yeah now that I’ve spammed a few more pictures, I’m all...
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I think Sara and I might just be the same person trapped in two seperate bodies. She just happened to get the hotter body and most of the humour and intelligence.
Conspiracy theories man.
I’m always kinda suprised when attractive people take interest in me e.e
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Reloading my sketch progression here because you...
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So when he isn’t paying attention, I always screenshot myself making funny faces at Kurt.
does this mean I’m cute or
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I hear you.
You are awake.
You are asleep.
I wonder at your stealth, yet still
considering the open-faced platter you served up
with honesty and integrity
and politicians that
“don’t lie”.
.
You are in.
You are around.
You are tempting.
Forth come the thought and the chance and the sigh
and the way that the eye shines
to illuminate the night—
aching, forever...
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I’m exhausted and yet I don’t sleep. I’m full of life and energy and yet I don’t move. I regret and yet I move on, I fall and yet I stand at full height. I’m small and large and everything and nothing, and I just want to believe that the world comes full circle and balances into even piles of ash once we’re through.
The tapping of my keys traps it all into a...
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I love waking to you. I love the sounds you make and the way you twist your face into silly expressions or.. ummm just yeah. I love the way you turn over onto your stomach and the way you say my name. I love waking up and realizing that you’re half asleep too and we’re both just sighing at each other in our sleep. I love saying good morning to you and I love being the first thing you...
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Today the women who work at the post office told my step mom that they didn’t even recognize me when I came in for mail. They apparently said that I acted very maturely with excellent manners and an happy disposition. Oh, and I stopped being ugly.
is this a compliment or
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Okay, TMI Tuesday:
I used to entertain the idea of being a porn star and I kind of thought I’d make a good one, but then I realized that it’s really hard to be respectable and have a real relationship while simeltaneously fucking randoms on camera. Also, I don’t have the body or the will to get a body good enough for it and I’m kind of awkward and yeah.
kewl
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thecolormichael replied to your post: It’s 1:31 a.m. I don’t really know why I’m still…
yes fap do it and also let me see dem titties gurl!!!!!!!!!!!
OKkkkkkkk boiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii hear dey rrrrrrrrrr!!!!1111!!!!!!!
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It’s 1:31 a.m.
I don’t really know why I’m still awake.
I’ve been up for 20 hours straight.
I can’t sleep.
I don’t understand why.
So I’m just going to spam pictures of myself.
Here’s a picture of me holding a bag (with my teeth) that mysteriously resembles a panda.
idk man, I like bullet points.
More pictures in read-more.
Not that you...
I feel like I bring like 97% of the shit in my life upon myself by being a generally low-functioning member of society.
Welp.
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Drive the Asian guy from work home so he doesn’t have to ride his bike in the dark on a highway with a flat tire.
Realize he’s mentally undressing me while I drive.
Debate on whether or not to be concerned.
Realize that he doesn’t speak enough English to testify against me in a court of law if I were to push him out.
Smile sweetly at him and continue driving.
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If you don’t already follow him, get your ass on this sexy man’s blog and hit dat follow button.
But no touching him that’s my job fuck you whores.
Edit: If you’re ugly and/or male then follow him. If you’re really pretty, plz for to stay away I don’t need that self-esteem issue, here r mai creys:’(
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So two nights ago, I was sitting at my desk and a fly got caught behind the lightbulb in my lamp. It kept buzzing like crazy and I figured that it would either escape or the lightbulb would kill it. I did nothing. After all, why would the death of that little fly affect me in anyway?
And then it died and landed right in my giant bag of m&m’s, effectively making them all inedible.
I...
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“Rape culture is telling girls and women to be careful about what you wear, how...”
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Write one leaf about something that makes you feel...
I’m one of those people who doesn’t like being sad. I’ll rage with depression for a few hours, berating myself and beating myself and trying to figure out why anything exists at all. But once I’m done being upset, I’m done. I try not to think about it anymore. I try not to talk about it.
In myself, it manifests as an entirely normal personality trait. It’s just...
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Watchadriennemichelle:
insidevoices-:
chocolate-covered:
Why homosexuality should be banned.
The best anti-gay satire I’ve ever seen.
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kidmars replied to your post: Kurt just made a list of thirty specific reasons…
love? dang
Sometimes people show up and make you think differently than you ever expected yourself to think.
I honestly just want to make this point because it’s been bothering me lately, and I feel shallow and naive and silly, but at the same time I just can’t argue myself out of it.
I thought...
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WatchI love this so much.
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I just don’t want you to ever look at me the way I look at me.
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Anonymous asked: My God... Who is this "Kurt" and where can I get one... ?
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My new work-out rotation:
Day 1: Lat pulls 3/8, bicep curls 3/8, Standing cable pullover 3/12, horizontal leg extensions 3/20, upright row 3/8, push-up on ball 3/8
Day 2: Goblet squat 3/8, leg flexions 4/4/, pyramid shoulder shrugs 12/10/8/10/12, walking lunges 3/10, leg extensions 3/8, ab rollers 3/30, calf raises 3/40, ab machine crossover 3/20
Day 3: Standing cleans 3/10, bicycle crunches 3/25, front squats 2/8,...
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john-dark:
loveisarisk:
the grand optimist -...
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I remember the hours
we used to spend;
Companies apart in manner
only wishing to supply our thoughts
With fuel of counteractive
life.
.
I remember the way
we used to be friends
Who might have been more;
separate circumstance
Provided.
.
You used to be bright
envious, enthralled, enlightened with
Your own presence in spontaneous
noise;
And now only wanting for
a few more dollars...
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deadhen:
I’M JUST A POOR BOOOOY
I NEED NO SYMPATHY
BECAUSE I’M EASY COME
EASY GO
LITTLE HIGH
LITTLE LOW
ANY WAY THE WIND BLOWS DOESN’T REALLY MATTER TO ME, TO MEEEEEEEEEEEE!
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burgersalad replied to your post: burgersalad started following you
WHAT IS THIS PLACE
This is where dreams come to die, Adam.
Where dreams come to die.
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um this is my new favourite gif i just made it isn’t it beautiful
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When numbers I don’t recognize text me, I just pretend to be a pirate.
YARRRRRRRRRRRR WHO GOES THARRRRRR? SHALL YEEEE WALKE THE PLANK?!
Typically it weeds out the boring people and entertains the interesting ones that I will actually enjoy talking to.
So that’s hi5-worthy.
